2 Months Out!!

My sister so kindly reminded me today that I have not posted for a month. So this post is dedicated to Candice!! I keep thinking about writing, and I have even started a couple of times, but I really really want to post pictures of myself and the progress I have made since the last pics. BUT, I wont do it. You don't get any pictures again until my show. :)

I can't believe how close it is getting! Only two months and I will be up on stage competing with amazing men and women who truly understand everything it takes to get to there. I am seeing changes almost daily in my body now and I love it! My trainer told me today that my body is shifting over to burning more fat. I can really tell when I don't push myself quite as hard as I usually do. The next day I am always disappointed. But it makes it easier to push myself most days.

I recently had some changes happen with work and it has made it hard to get to the gym everyday. But I havent missed. I cant miss. I am at that point now where every day counts. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can't wake up and decide, "I am tired and sore from yesterday. I think I will just skip today...and maybe have some of those cookies sitting on the counter..." Its not even an option. I have to be dedicated 110%. I can't get up on that stage and with regrets or wonder "what if".

 I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who support me and help me get closer to my goals. Well, most people. There are ones who believe I have become obsessed with working out and someone even said that I must be anorexic. After all, you cant lose weight and get in shape if you aren't right?? It makes me laugh. I follow a very strict nutrition plan and I exercise a lot. I spend about 15 hours a week at the gym and another few exercising other ways. But this is only temporary. I am training to compete. I need to be in the absolute best shape possible. Once I have finished, my diet will relax some and workouts wont be as often or as long. But this is my life now. I am not obsessed, I have just realized what I and my body are capable of and I want to be the best I can be. I wont quit until I get there either. My children and family are still my top priorities and I a lot of why I am doing this is for them. I had gotten to a point in my life where I didnt want to do anything. I didnt want to go anywhere or play outside with the kids. I didnt even want to sit out while they played. I wasnt the best mom I could be and I am working on changing that now. I play with my girls every day now. We go on long walks and bike rides. We are having so much fun!

Anyway, I will stop here. I could ramble on all night. I hope I am able to motivate someone to be a better person today. Whether it is by eating better, doing something more with your children, or just taking some time for yourself. Be all that you can be!!

POSING!!

I just started to learn all the posing for my show. WOW!!! It is pretty simple and basic, but you have to get it down PERFECT which is where it gets hard. From just the 1/2-1 hour of posing I did today, I AM SORE!! My back and lats are so tight! This is one of those nights that I am so glad to be married to a massage therapist. ;) As of today, I am 97 days away from the show. 97 days that I can work. 97 days to improve my body further. 97 days of making the right decisions. 97 days to prove to myself, that I can do anything. It seems so far, but it seems so close. Before I know it, it will be time. The day will be here and ready or not, I will be up on that stage. That TERRIFIES me! But I know I can do it. My life seems to be getting crazier. We are just starting the process of buying a house. I have a few big cakes coming up. My daughter is having a birthday in a month and I have her party to plan. My husband is *hopefully* getting a promotion at work which can change our moving plans slightly. And of course I am as busy as ever at work. Sometimes I feel like I am crazy and I will never be able to accomplish this and I am in way over my head...but I have AMAZING trainers who are always just a text away and my husband always pushes me back up when I am feeling down. I have my shoes for the show. I know what suit I am getting but I am not going to order it until it is a little closer so I have a better idea of my measurements and to reduce alterations that I may need to get. It is going to be beautiful though! When that comes, it will feel VERY real I think. Anyway, here are a few quote and pics I have found lately that I love!! Happy exercising!!

I have lost a 5 gallon bottle of water at this point. :)

Before and After pics - SO SCARY!!!

Well, I have been on the same diet and exercise program for 3 months now. I have really been struggling with getting myself to do this, but I am just going to. BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES!!!! I feel like I still have quite a ways to go, but I am proud of how far I have come in such a short period of time. I am so embarrassed about where I was, but I want to show you that if I can do it, anyone can do it. I am no longer embarrassed to go swimming. I love shopping because everything fits and I even where a lot of size SMALL tops. There have been a few days that are hard. Times when we are at parties or family get togethers and there is great food and I have to stick to my boring meals. But, looking at my pictures, it is so worth it!! My cruise is in 9 days and I feel ready!! I want to be in a swimsuit the majority of the time. I actually bought shorts the other day. I havent worn shorts since probably middle school!! AND, I actually LIKE how they look on me! I promise you, if I can do it, you can too!! The first couple weeks are always the hardest. You have times that you feel like just quitting. I had a few struggles in my life happen during this that made me want to turn to food for comfort, but I didnt. I no longer have that urge. I feel better all the time. I have more energy, I am happier. I LOVE my life!! Anyway, enough rambling. Here are my pics from day 1, and today!! Hopefully the next time I post pics will be shortly before my competition and I will REALLY blow you all away!

If You ever need some extra motivation, let me know! I have TONS of inspiring quotes and pictures and a mind set now that I can do anything!!

I have hit the halfway mark!

I feel like I haven't written forever! It has been a few weeks. I always did my posts from my Kindle Fire and all of a sudden it wont upload pictures. I feel like a post without pictures is like giving a kid who cant read a chapter book. There has to be some fun and excitement from pics!! Well I got a new laptop so i am back!!

Anyway, my life has changed a bit. I stopped doing daycare a month ago, and went back to lifetime to work in the Child Center. Well, on Sunday, I was promoted the the Assistant Department Head, which pretty much means that I am running it. We go through about 600 kids a day. We can have close to 200 kids at one time. This week has been crazy, mostly because I am just jumping right in and learning by doing. The Department Head is out taking a class all week and then visiting family till next Wednesday. But its ok because I am loving it! I love her and I know she will always be there when and if I need help, and even though we are short on employees, I love all the ones I work with. And my girls are liking being there more and more which definitely helps.

I am still doing my crazy workouts and my diet has gotten even stricter. But it is going really well. I have officially lost 30lbs now. It came off really really fast at the beginning and has slowed the last few weeks. But I am for sure gaining a lot of muscle now. I am thinking about posting some pics on here soon. It is unreal how much has changed! Everything looks so much tighter and leaner, and my waist?!?! My waist looks like the pictures are from 2 different people. Which is great since I feel like a new person!

Anyway, I just wanted to quickly let everyone know I am still going strong and still headed toward my goals! I hope you are doing good and making positive changes in your life!

Week 5

First off, I want to say congratulations to my friend Janessa who competed in the NPC Utah competition Saturday night. She did amazing and looks fantastic! I was lucky enough to attend and watch her in her first show. I hope to see her in more and maybe compete against her one day. :)



Here she is with a few of the other competitors. They all looked great and worked their butts off! Very inspiring to see!



There were two awesome men who are huge competitors in the country and world who came and put on a show for us. Then they signed autographs and took pictures with people in the audience. Both were very down to earth sweet and funny guys.but I would not want to piss them off! This first pic is of Johnnie Jackson,



And this pic is Branch Warren



I haven't been writing as often, but things are still going great. Its getting easier to eat only my approved foods and I go well over the water amount every day. I can run a lot further than I ever thought I would, and my strength in general has increased so much in the last month. I may not look too different yet, but there are a lot of big changes happening in my body. I had to buy new gym clothes yesterday cause the ones I had been using fall off now. I went with drawstring pants this time. :)

I saw this picture and had to post it. My favorite favorite FAVORITE song right now is Will.I.Am The Hardest Ever. It says over and over, you can go hard or you can go home. I think if you are getting yourself to the gym, that you better work hard. Harder than you thought you could, otherwise, why are you there?



I'm going on a cruise in June. I want to have this awkward moment there. ;)



Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well with their goals and aspirations. I will have the best body of my life this year, even after having 3 kids. It can be done and I will prove it!!

Day 16!

I missed a few days! Oops! Things have been a little crazy. My husband and I have been making some big decisions and it has been really hard and stressful. We are going to try and buy a house this year, but in order to do so, I need to be doing something different for work. This is really hard for me because I have come to love the kids I watch like they are my own. I love their parents and I will miss them so much! I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it seems to be our only option at this time. I am talking with my gym and may be going back to work there. I should get more details on the job this weekend and I can decide from there. A house is what my family needs at this point though. And I feel we need to take the right steps to make that happen.



The gym is going great! I no longer have to make myself go every day, I want to go. On Sunday I feel like a bum for not being there at all. I finish my 2 hour workout and am sad its over. I love that I feel this way now. I love the gym and the whole atmosphere there!



My nutrition is getting better. I felt like I was being deprived of so much for a while, but now I realize that I don't eat for entertainment, I eat for fuel. Yes my cheat meals are still awesome. I had an amazing Philly cheesesteak last week. :) but food is not my enjoyment anymore. I do love to bake still and I continue to do so. I just ration it out as soon as its done and give it away.



I don't want naps anymore. I have so much energy, even when I don't get much sleep the previous night. I feel great all the time! Its real energy too, not that sugar high kind that leaves you feeling sluggish and down after it wears off.



My skin is getting clearer and smoother. Ive never had horrible skin, but I'm in my mid 20's and I still have acne. Since I've been taking better care of myself, it has almost all cleared up!



Needless to say, I LOVE how my life has changed and I plan on this being a very permanent change. I am not dieting, I am living!! I feel like I can do anything and I plan on doing everything!!

Days 10 & 11

Tonight is rock climbing!! Wooohooo! I look forward to Thursdays every week for rock climbing. I don't know what it is that excites me so much. Maybe its conquering my fear of heights, maybe the feeling of weightlessness. I don't know but its awesome. Lynnli cant wait til she is big enough to do it. I know shes going to love it.



On to my workouts and diet. Things are going pretty good still. I'm never hungry and finding it hard to make myself eat a lot of the food, but I know I need it in order to lose weight too, so I'm making myself. I was told yesterday by my sister that she can see the weight loss on me. That felt good. Then while doing my cardio on the treadmill, I kept having to pull my pants up. They are a little too big now! I cant wait till I have to replace all my clothes! Haha



Anyway, my sweet baby girl is patiently waiting for me to finish so I can play a game with her. I just thought id take a minute to put a few thoughts here. I hope you are all feeling as great as I am!

Days 8 & 9

This will be a short post today. I'm 2 days in on week 2. Its going pretty good still. Its been a couple weeks since ive made any cakes or cupcakes and I really just want to make some. I don't want to eat them, just want to make them. This means My daycare kids might be getting some, friends at the gym might get some (awesome thing to take to the gym huh) and my uncle in OR might be getting some. I want to try something new though. Something different. I just haven't decided what yet. I don't use recipes with my cakes usually so they don't always turn out amazing. We'll see what I can come up with this time! :)

Anyway, I am bored with chicken and brown rice. I may see if i can switch to fish a couple times a week. I put salsa on my eggs today too. I'm not supposed but I needed it. I feel better now. :)

Days 6 and 7

Today is a great day!! I am in a wonderful mood, the sun is out, I'm surrounded by family, its just great! I was super busy yesterday and didn't get a chance to write a post so I'm combining it with today's.

I started off yesterday by sleeping in. Although with little kids at home, sleeping in was 830. Still felt good. Me and the girls relaxed and just had a lazy morning, then headed to lifetime around 11. My workout felt amazing! I did my lifting and then went and did all my cardio on the treadmill...which I hate! Running is horrible. Its the worst. I have had knee issues with running before and I just don't like it. I read a funny quote that fit me perfectly a while ago,

"I don't run with scissors. Those last two words weren't necessary. "

Anyway, I have been trying to incorporate more running and I am proud to say that I was able to run almost 30 minutes without a problem. That's HUGE for me. Watching SNL on my ipod didn't hurt either. ;)



I think I said before, I am trying not to weigh myself a lot on this diet. I don't want to get discouraged when I don't see big number changes cause muscle is heavier than fat, and I'm definitely building muscle! Well I couldn't stand it and I weighed myself this morning. I was so nervous getting on that scary, mean little scale. But, in the first week, I am so excited to tell you that I lost double digits!! Wooohooo!! I was NOT expecting that. Boy does it feel good though!



I'm not going to change anything on my diet and exercise this next week. It worked so well I think ill keep it a little longer the way it is. At least another week anyway. I will post some progress pics soon. Maybe at the end of next week. :)

Day 5

Day 5 and I'm still alive!!

This morning I decided to get up and do my cardio first... by cleaning my house and doing all the laundry. It took me almost 3 hours and as long as I focused, I was able to keep my heart rate elevated. I felt much more accomplished with a clean home at the end too!

I only watch one kid for my daycare on Friday and she ended up being sick so I ended up having a free day also. So once I was done with the house, we headed to the gym. :) I am pleased to say, my body is started to get used to the daily beatings ive Been throwing at it.I got my workout done, then we went to meet daddy for lunch! I should've thought ahead and brought my lunch. Watching my girls pick at hot dogs drowning in ketchup and relish, and the hubs endulge in a smothered burrito and chips and salsa was HARD!! It looked and smelled so good!! It was almost too much for me to handle. But I did it!

I get a cheat meal once a week. I can pick the day and it can be anything as long as it stays in my calories allotment. Well after watching that lunch I thought today might be that day! When hubs got home from work he announced he wanted pizza. DING!!! Of course! I can make cauliflower crust pizza and enjoy my cheat meal! So that's what I did!




Oh how I love cauliflower pizza! And my hubs even prefers it to any other! But here's the great thing, with my recipe and toppings, an entire pizza is only 500 calories!! Incredible! I can only eat a quarter of one before I'm full, So I decided to be crazy, and add a dessert! I got skinny cow caramel truffle ice cream bars. These things are AMAZING!! totally satisfied my sweet tooth and it only has 100 calories. I ended up staying under my cheat meal calories allowance. How awesome us that!? I'm so excited to plan next weeks cheat and to include another skinny cow bar! Yummy!



Tomorrow is my last workout this week, then I get Sunday off. Hallelujah! I am excited to rest and hopefully let my body recover a lot more. Week 1 is so close to coming to a close! I hope it all goes this fast!


It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator.

day 4

Mmmmmmm.....doesn't that look yummy?? A big bowl of plain, flavorless, and rubbery egg whites?

No?

Oh, that's probably because its NOT! I'm only on day 4 and getting my eggs down every morning is getting harder and harder!! Growing up I hated the yolk and wouldnt touch it. Now a tear runs down my cheek every bite I take without that golden goodness that is supposed to be with those yucky whites. How am I going to do this for 3 months?! I don't know...but I will do it! I will!




Celery on the other hand, is something I really enjoy. I eat a piece Or two with most of my meals. It helps fill me up and is so refreshing! I made "ants on a log" for my girls today. Peanut butter and raisins on celery? What a genius snack! My girls gobble it up everytime and its so much better than a fruit snack, or candy. I am a little jealous that I couldn't eat it today though. BUT it will be worth it in the end!!

I had a pretty bad cold the last couple days. All my daycare kids have had it and they finally gave it to me. Luckily I have zicam, so I took that all night and am feeling much better today. I almost didn't make it through my cardio last night cause I felt so icky. Then I remembered my gym has wifi so I turned on an episode of biggest loser and rode a bike while watching. It helped a lot! Tonight is my rock climbing night. I look forward to it every week. My little sister and her hubby come with me so its a nice social time for me as well. I may even get my parents there tonight! Woo hoo!


Nothing tastes as good as being sexy feels!

Well, I made it through yesterday just fine. I didn't feel Hungry, I wasn't craving anything, I finished my workout last night and came home and went to bed. But I slept horrible! I feel like it took hours to fall asleep and once I finally did, I dreamed about brownies. Eating warm, soft, gooey brownies. Then brownie pudding! If you haven't had this amazing little piece of heaven, you need to. Its this yummy brownie made from scratch that bakes and floats on top of a homemade chocolate pudding. Eat it hot with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and you will be happy. Here is a picture of the delectable dessert. Mmmmm-mmmm!



Now obviously I cant eat things like this right now. And I have a horrible sweet tooth. I knew I would need something to satisfy it without cheating. My purse is now full of extra gum dessert delights. The apple pie is my favorite followed by the mint chocolate chip ice cream. The others are so-so. Ill chew them but I wont buy them again. I'm definitely glad to of found it though. Otherwise, I may of gotten up and made brownie pudding for breakfast. :)



Tonight at the gym I will be focusing on my shoulders and deltoids. My biceps are so sore from Monday and Tuesday's workouts that I can barely straighten my elbows. It hurts so bad!! I love knowing that something is working though. All this hard work will be worth it in the end! I failed to mention before, I am sticking to my new diet and exercise routine for the next 3 months. That's about the time I go on the cruise. I'm hoping to meet all my fitness goals by then and only have to maintain after. Crossing my fingers that I do!


You have to sweat like a pig and work like a horse to look like a fox!

Day 2

Well, I did it. I made it through the first day!! I have to admit, it wasn't as hard as I was expecting...here's hoping today isn't any harder! I think the food was the most boring part. And eating 5 small meals a day is a little rough. I felt like I was just eating all day! But I found something yesterday. Something wonderful!! A condiments line that has 0 calories, 0 carve, 0 sugar, 0 gluten. They have tons of salad dressings, bbq sauces, syrups, peanut butter, jams, Mayo, and even chocolate and caramel sauces!! The brand is Walden Farms and I found them at Harmon's.



If you don't think that's great, you are crazy!! My oatmeal this morning was so much better with a little maple syrup. And I don't even have to feel guilty about it! I could just kiss the creator of this amazing line!

Anyway, I will stop rambling now. Last night I did a 2 hour workout at my favorite gym and only one I'll go to, lifetime fitness. I did my hour of weights followed by an hour of cardio. It felt great! But man those stair machines are hard! I am all to familiar with escalators. Doing a few flights of stairs last night made me realize I need to stop cheating and use these legs I have when given the choice between actual stairs or an escalator.



Well I am ready to get this day going! I get to do a couple loads of laundry today and mop the floors while the kids are napping. I know you are jealous! ;)

They say you are what you eat. Funny, I don't remember eating a sexy beast.

Day 1

Well, this is it. No more brownies and cookies. No more cupcakes and reeses peanut butter cups. No more sugary cereals and chocolate milk. *sigh* I am done looking the way I look and I have accepted that I really am the only one who can change myself. So as of today, I am on my way to that skinny, tight and toned little body that I can be proud of. I wont sit down and have to tuck that fat roll hanging over into my pant anymore. Or wear great big baggy shirts to hide the chub. This is it!!

I started off me week my going to bed at 930. I have not done that in years and years! I got up at 7 and boiled a big pot of eggs. 36 to be eggsact! :) while they were cooking I made myself a bowl of oatmeal. Actual oatmeal, not the little packets you buy filled with maple and brown sugar. Real, plain, flavorless oatmeal. I put a little cinnamon in it for flavor, but it was not the best breakfast ive ever had. With that I choked down 24 oz of water and 9.pills! Everything from fish oil, to calcium. Lunch should be more exciting. And tonight, the gym!! I'm going to focus mostly on upper body the first couple days along with an hour of cardio. I am planning on being there 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, every week until I reach my goals.

This is going to be a long journey and I am expecting a few bumps along the way. I am hoping that writing this blog will help me to release my struggles instead of turning to food. Some days I may come and do nothing but complain (hopefully not too many) and other days I may come and talk about how easy and wonderful this is(maybe) . But regardless, this is my new life and I am going to make this change not only for myself, but for my loving and supportive family as well. So on that note, take care until next time!

"I wish I was as skinny as I was when I thought I was fat"